Neuroplasticity: "I changed my mind."

According to January 2007's issue of Time magazine, neuroscientist Richard Davidson of the University of Wisconsin at Madison, found that activity greater in the left prefrontal cortex than in the right correlates with a higher baseline level of contentment.... "Davidson recruited Buddhist monks to meditate while he measured their brain activity and discovered activity in the left prefrontal swamped activity in the right prefrontal to a degree never seen before from purely mental activity."

Davidson suggests that we have the power to change our brains, to actually 'up' the happiness point. We can reshape how we process information with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and mindfulness meditation. We can change our brains when we think about our thinking, and the ability to change our brains is called neuroplasticity.

I've spent some time recently talking with two young mothers with pre-school age children, who are also Montessori teachers. They told me that parents today are more permissive than authoritarian, but when I pressed them further, there is a kind of 'blowing-up' these parents often report after over-extending themselves by giving permission to their children without also giving appropriate boundaries.

From the time our children were born, I wanted to be the best mother I could, and with all of my limitations, I did do my best. When they were young, what I couldn't seem to master or control were the times I was particularly reactive--the times I 'blew up'.

One of my mentors talks about time out. Except he's the one who takes the time out--not his boys. What a concept--a man I admire for his clarity and wisdom--taking a time- out so he doesn't lose his cool with his pre-school children.

It is with our very selves that we teach our children how to be, and as parents, most of us long to exemplify someone akin to the Dali Lama. The buddhist monks spend a lifetime in meditation in order to achieve a state of compassion. There is something about the boundless love most of us have for our children, the desire we have to provide the very best, that gives us both the courage and insight that says first and foremost: I will handle my own space, my internal world so that the emotional content I provide for my children to ingest comes from clarity.

And out of that, because of love for our own children, the work of parenting becomes a great spiritual gift.