Honoring Limitations

In May, 2000, I attended our daughter's graduation from Smith College and Judy Chicago gave the commencement address. Ms. Chicago, feminist, author, educator, and artist, spoke about her life, her career, and her understanding of limits. One particular statement she made that lovely Spring day in Northampton, Massachusetts, I'll never forget--It rang that true for me.

"I believe that one of the pernicious lies that has been told to your generation
is that one can 'have it all.' Although I can't explain how I knew it, I always
knew that this was not possible. [When] I looked to history, I discovered that
those women who had achieved at the level at which I had set my sights had been
childless and those that were not had suffered constant guilt at not being able
to meet the demands of both their work and their children."

I've not always admitted my limitations (three children, marriage, a career and a strong commitment to a nonprofit organization). It makes sense that I haven't because in Chicago's view, our culture has given us women the notion that we can have it all.

As I ponder Chicago's view and that of sociologist, Sharon Hays, I am aware of the internal conflicts I have between my personal and professional life, and these two women have raised my consciousness.

Knowing myself, my choices, my limits--knowing what brings me joy and then having the courage to have my 'yea' and my 'nay', is my path. Not Judy Chicago's, Susan Hays', my daughters' or son's path--but my own. And I am committed to the inner voice that is calling me toward my path, myself.