Sibling Rivalry

When our children were young, I remember tying to stop their fighting. One day I put our two younger children in a room alone and said, "Come out when you've settled this." I don't remember if they worked it out or not, but I do remember the huge relief I felt at getting myself out of the middle.

Siblings sometimes fight, and though that can't be completely controlled, I think it's important for parents to both allow the arguments and have some ground rules.

Here are some tips when your children fight: (from Siblings Without Rivalry www.fabermazlish.com )

1. Set up these two golden rules and reinforce them if ever they are broken:

a) "NO hitting in our house. We don't hit. Say what you want to say with words! It's not o.k. to hit."

b) "NO name calling in our house. That's not o.k. You can say you're angry or frustrated about what happened, but no name calling."

2. If someone is hit, always pay attention and show empathy toward the child that was hit, and ignore the one who did it, except to do 1."

3. Treat children equally, spending equal time and equal money (or as close as you can get!) on each child.

4. Spend special time alone with each child.