Parents: A Unified Front

As Claud and I complete the Couple's Course this Monday evening, I am struck again by how much a couple's relationship informs children. Last week during our fourth session, the conversation turned to the importance of presenting a "unified front" to our children. An interesting concept, and one I agree with, if the "unified front" is the couple in limbic resonance--in honest agreement. But the term, "unified front" sounds like the oft fought war between parents and children--a lose-lose dynamic.

As the parent of adult children, having gone through the experience of parenting for the past thirty years, it matters to me that I learn more and more about being authentically Jan. Otherwise I miss out on my life, and misguide others. I'm only offering a presentation or a suggested front with my husband.

And let's not fool ourselves--Children know what's going on. They are (as one psychologist told me when Claud and I were in therapy with one of our children) in the middle of our relationships.